mem·o·rize
–verb (used with object)
I was never really good at it. It was my “Achilles’ heel” or “deadly weakness in spite of overall strength, that can actually or potentially lead to downfall” according to wikipedia.
just when you thought getting unfriended and blocked by someone who was once a close friend wouldn’t happen again, it does.
losing friends is probably the worst thing that could happen to anyone. EVER. specially if they were close to you and meant a lot to you.
yenno, I wanted nothing more than to be friends with you and for you to be happy. nothing else mattered to me because I just value our friendship alot. I don’t know your side of the story, but I’d like to know. and I’ll still be a friend no matter what.
I hate losing friends. specially if we’ve been through alot.
sucha bummer. :(
I love badminton. I love playing cuz its fun. but I’ve never competed and I’m not planning to anytime soon. I was just kinda hoping I would be in the team, but I don’t have to compete. yenno, just be there for practices so I can build on my skill and just play. but obviously that’s not how it works.
so when I tried out, I already knew I wasn’t going to make it to the team, and I already knew that I was gunna suck. but I went for it. just to get a taste of it. our coach was nice enough to just let me hang out a bit and play a couple games, but obviously I got creamed. hah.
the thing about competing is that there’s a lot on the line. and when you make a mistake or mess up, you take it to heart. or at least that’s how it is for me.
when I play for fun, I’m good. I’m not great but I’m good. but when it comes to competing, I suck. guess I just can’t take the pressure.
at the end of the day, I’m just not the athletic type. I’m not built for competition. I don’t wanna start hating badminton cuz I lose all the time. so I’m going to keep playing. but I’m just going to play for fun.
I value friendship a lot. You of all people would know that.
But I’m sick and tired of wasting my time trying to fix something that’s broken beyond repair. So I’m moving on.
I’m soo tired. of everything. I thought sleep would help. but I still feel tired.
ugh.
when I got home, all I wanted to do was go straight to bed. so I did. slept at around 5-ish. then I just woke up about an hour ago.
but I’m still so freaking tired. and now I gotta do hw and that’ll take me til dawn to finish. then I’ll be sleep deprived again. *siiighhh*
who knew pretending to be fine when you’re not was so exhausting.
–adjective (used predicatively)
1. separate, apart, or isolated from others
-http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/alone
*this post contains inappropriate language (aka bad words). you have been warned. I have this disclaimer because I don’t usually swear, but that’s for a different post… :p
I was lying in bed, listening to Mayday Parade on full blast when my iPod died. felt so alone, chest felt so heavy. feels like no one gives a shit. I have great friends but I can’t rely on them and go to them for everything. they can’t be there for me 24/7. they have their own shit to deal with and I can’t be the center of the world. I have no relationship whatsoever with parents. they wouldn’t understand anyways. I mean, I’m thankful and everything cuz they give me clothes, education, food, and shelter but that’s a different story. I can’t even count on my own buddy (aka my guy best friend) anymore. I used to go to him for everything and we’d talk all the time but we got into this huge fight. but that’s a different story.
I feel like I’m the only person I can count on because sometimes you can’t rely on anyone but yourself. because no one understands yourself like you do (duh) and no one can fix you but you. some people in your lives will just come and go. no one ever really stays til the end. (except God, he’s the only exception)
I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. feels like I’m never going to move forward. I’ll just be stuck here and I have no idea how to get out.
been feeling kinda shitty angry. needa let this out.
PARENTS DON’T UNDERSTAND.
marks went down because of exams.
parents were very unhappy to see my report card. all they saw was that it went down compared to the first progress report. *sigh*
*this post contains inappropriate language (aka bad words). you have been warned. I have this disclaimer because I usually don’t swear, but that’s for a different post…. :p
Jan. 29, 2011
I had one of the worst days ever today. or technically yesterday cuz it’s already 1:38 am. Soo, yesterday, on Jan 28, 2011, I had one of the worst days ever.
I feel soo unlucky. :|
woke up at 10am. was planning on visiting my buddy at his school. I look out the window and there’s like a blizzard outside, so I had to cancel. -_-“
then.. had to go to work. while walking, a train was passing by, blocking the way to the bus stop. it took like 20 mins for it to pass cuz it was soo long and it was going soooo slow. urgh. when I finally got to the bus stop, I missed the bus, so I had to wait 10 mins for the next one. so I was out in the cold for a total of 30 mins. I have a new found hate for all things cold and related to winter. -_-“
theen at work the worst thing happened. I was filling the mop bucket thingy with water and left it running. I forgot to turn it off. I pretty much flooded the stock room. but I called my uncle, who was my supervisor, and he helped me and my coworker fix everything and clean it all up. But ughh. I feel so bad for all the hard work that my coworker and my uncle had to do. I should be fired, but I’m not. Makes me feel so much worse. -_-“
then when I got picked up by my dad to go home, we got stuck in the snow, so had to call my uncle again for help. we got out, but it took forever and my dad and uncle were freezing and there was nothing I could do to help. which really frustrates me and makes me feel bad. -_-“
I felt so down. but when I got home I was talking to my buddy and he made me feel better. So thanks for cheering me up budd. yenno who you are. Thanks for being there for me and listening to me go on and on about this and thanks for putting up with me. I can always count on you for anything. Thanks buddy. :)
this is just one of those blogs where I incessantly ramble for who knows how long.. I applaud those who reads this til the end, you really should go get a life. nah I’m just kidding. I appreciate you for taking the time to read all this, no matter how useless and unimportant it is. :)
today was the second last day before break. so like us students, our teachers were feeling lazy as well.
a peek at how I survive spend my day at school.
first period, religion.. I really like this class. all we do is talk. literally. so today, we just talked about random stuff. I usually just sit back, relax, and listen to people debate about different topics, and occasionally, I’d share something too.
second period, biology.. bio’s not my best subject and I spend majority of the time questioning why I’m in this class because I’m no good at science AT ALL. we had a worksheet due, and I really didn’t care what mark I got anymore lol. and we got our tests back and I was super surprised to get an 85% on it. hahah highest mark in this class EVER. I felt proud. I studied hard for that test and I felt like I deserved that mark. *pats myself on the back*
third period, history.. aahhh I can almost hear those stereotypes about this class. our history classes aren’t boring and useless (okay, maybe it is… just a little..). but today we just watched a video about Canadian history. and I, and other students who shall not be named, got to take a lovely nap. I felt refreshed after the bell rang. :D
fourth period, lunch.. today was the finals for the Christmas Karaoke that our school’s Social Justice Committee organized. it was great. everyone was very entertained by the participants, and I got to take a lot of great shots. who knew that our Pre-Cal teacher could sing that high? and who knew that our Art teacher and Phys. Ed. teacher could kick butt when it comes to a dance-off? we should definitely do this again next year. good times, good times..
fifth period, english.. we just finished reading Macbeth (thank God for SparkNotes, I couldn’t have passed English: Literary Focus without you..), so now we moved on to watching the play. but our cool and awesome english teacher decided that we can just chill and watch an episode of Dawson’s Creek. it was a fun class. :)
sixth period, accounting.. I know you’re not supposed to pick favorites, but omg Accounting is my FAVORITE CLASS ! hahah. not only am I really good at it, but it’ll help me for when I go into business school. and our teacher is really chill so we get to use the computers and just go on YouTube, Tumblr, and Facebook. I soo love this class.
seventh period, pre-calculus math.. this is probably my second favorite subject. I love math, and anything math related. I’m one of those special students who happen to be really good at math, so I don’t have to try hard in this class. but today we had our Bio teacher subbing for our Pre-Cal teacher (weird huh?). so we spent the period singing our Pre-Cal Themed Christmas Carols. we take the tune of Christmas Carols and substitute in lyrics based on Math (trigonometry, geometry, algebra, doesn’t matter as long as its related to math). then we did our secret santa exchange gifts. then we played the Name Game.
How to play the name game.. there is a bucket of words that were related to Christmas. the class is divided into two, and we decided it should be girls vs boys. so then the first level was to pick out a word from the bucket and describe it until your team gets the correct answer. the second level was to act out the word that you picked without saying anything (kinda like charades). the third level was to say one word to describe it but that’s it, after you say the word, no more words and actions. in the end, we had a tie. but it was fun nonetheless. ohh and we didn’t get homework ! :)
eighth period (aka last period) , computer science.. 40 minutes of staring into the computer. gotta love it. hahah. we didn’t really do anything for this class. (did I mention that I’m the only girl in this class? lol). so the guys spent the class playing games, and I spent it on tumblr. then the bell rang and all hell went loose. lol just kidding.
but yeaa that was my day. and it was a pretty good day. I took pictures during lunch, english, accounting, and pre-cal. so fun. :)
and now I’m just sitting here, typing away, with my Chamomile tea on a cold winter’s day. I think I’m going to take a loong nap after I finish my tea.
tomorrow’s officially the last day of school and it’s a half day, and I’ll probably spend the rest of the day chilling, which is just perfect.
I’ll see ya later tumblr. :)
ps. I just hope no one ruins my day…
